


someday my prince will come

by elareine



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Andersen - Freeform, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella - Freeform, Disney, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, Grimm - Freeform, Little Red Riding Hood - Freeform, M/M, Singing, Sleeping Beauty - Freeform, Snow White - Freeform, So much singing, Talking Animals, The little mermaid - Freeform, True Love, mention of violence, rumpelstiltskin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elareine/pseuds/elareine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fairies? Dwarves? Princess? Erik felt a headache coming on. It almost sounded like that mutant had succeeded in carrying out her plan in a very literal way. For the sake of his sanity, Erik refused to believe it still. </p>
<p>“Okay. Thank you,” he added, remembering Charles’ lectures about manners helping to complete some tasks more quickly. “Could you point me in the right direction, please?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	someday my prince will come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reveetoile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/gifts).



> I have nothing to say about this. I hope you're as amused as the people I wrote it for were. Comments are very much appreciated. 
> 
> Many thanks to prettylittlepliers for the beta-job. I'm sure this would make even less sense without her.

It started as an ordinary day. Well, as ordinary as any day could be if you were a concentration camp survivor turned Nazi hunter who was currently employed recruiting mutants for the CIA. Erik had gone on this particular trip alone - their “children” weren’t quite ready to accompany him yet and Charles had had to attend a meeting with the agency’s superiors. The mutant in question lived close to headquarters, so Charles would be able to send help quickly in the unlikely event Erik should need it.

Well, that unlikely event had just become much more likely. The mutant was a young girl, maybe fifteen years old, who had decided to ask Erik’s opinion on true love. _That_ conversation ended with the words “Well, since you insist on being a cynic, I’ll show you your very own fairy tale,” and Erik sitting in a forest clearing, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

Once he stopped swearing in his head, he realized there were animals gathered around him. Deer, birds, rabbits, mice, and squirrels were staring at him.

“What?” he asked irritably, not really expecting an answer.

“Are you hurt?” a bird chirped back.

Erik stared at it blankly.

One rabbit looked at another. “Maybe he’s scared? You know the forest is terrifying at night.”

“Maybe we should sing him a song?” a bluebird suggested with excitement, while the animals were steadily inching closer towards him. A squirrel was about to climb onto Erik’s lap when Erik found his voice again at being faced with the prospect of singing.

“I’m not scared. Just - you can talk?”

The birds gave a thrilling laugh and flew closer, exclaiming, “Of course! Sing with us!”

One of them landed on his hand and chirped a series of notes. Suddenly there was silence as everyone looked at Erik. He just glared back at them once he realized what they were expecting to happen. “I’m not singing.”

With that, he got up, not exactly taking care to warn the animals resting on him.

The bluebird who had tried to start the song was chatting away at him, “Well! I’ve never seen anything so rude! Who are you, refusing the gift of a song? Why, if my poor mother could see this. I’ve never…”

Erik turned her out and turned to the mammals that were now mostly staring at him from a safe distance. “Can any of you tell me where we are?”

It was a European brown squirrel who answered, “Erm, the forest?”

“Yes,” Erik ground out. What the hell was he doing, having a conversation with the fucking forest animals? Considering that for a second, he asked, “Are there humans nearby?”

This seemed to be a more normal question to the animals, as they all nodded. “Yes. There are the fairies who are raising the cursed princess, or the seven dwarves, of course.”

Fairies? Dwarves? _Princess_? Erik felt a headache coming on. It almost sounded like that mutant had succeeded in carrying out her plan in a very literal way. For the sake of his sanity, Erik refused to believe it still.

“Okay. Thank you,” he added, remembering Charles’ lectures about manners helping to complete some tasks more quickly. “Could you point me in the right direction, please?”

Two sparrows looked at each and then him, chirping, “We’ll lead you there.”

“And me!” the squirrel that had first approached him added.

With the other animals nudging him to go with them, Erik gave in. He didn’t fancy killing animals that weren’t needed for supper, but he still could if they led him astray or got too annoying. Or if he became hungry, though he didn’t suppose there was much meat on these fellows.

They wandered through the forest for some time, in silence, once Erik’s glare had discouraged the sparrows from merrily singing along. The squirrel, who didn’t seem intimidated at all, just ran ahead through a forest that was remarkably green for this time of the year. Suddenly, he stopped. Erik froze, trying to discern any dangers that might be approaching them, but the squirrel just exclaimed, “That’s Aurora! She must be gathering berries again.”

“ _Aurora_?” Erik asked, a vague feeling of remembrance creeping up on him - some movie Raven had talked about? But the animals were taking off towards yet another beautiful clearing. Erik decided to run after them - maybe this Aurora was human. At this point, he’d even welcome non-mutants as conversation partners.

As it turned out, Aurora was indeed a person, a teenager with a perfect waist, flowing golden hair, lips as red as roses and eyes as a lovely as a beam of sunshine. She was also currently busy waltzing with a man who could only be a prince, with the way this day was going. They were singing “I knew you, I walked with you once upon a dream…” - and that was when Erik turned to the animals and asked, “What the hell?”

At least he could now be reasonably sure he was in some kind of fairy tale land. In Erik’s experience, people didn’t exactly waltz around in the forest in real life (Charles might, actually. But Charles wasn’t quite real himself, so that did not count).

“That’s Princess Aurora, only she’s being raised by the fairies as a humble maid to protect her from the course the evil Maleficent put on her,” one of the sparrows replied.

The other chirped in, “Walked right into the celebration of Aurora’s birth, Maleficent did, and put a curse on her. She’s to prick a finger and fall into a sleep like death before her 16th birthday! But-”

“...true love’s kiss will awaken her!” the first sparrow took over once more, “and maybe it will be Prince Philip, promised to be betrothed to her at the time of her birth, only they don’t know that.”

“Aren’t they lovely together?” the second sparrow finished the explanation with a bird version of a sigh.

Wait, that wasn’t how Erik remembered the tale. This was “Sleeping Beauty”, so…

“That’s not right,” he found himself saying.

His three animal companions looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t know the king who wakes her up,” Erik explained, “and it’s not by true love’s kiss. He rapes her and she wakes up after the babies suckle the splinter out of her finger because they are looking for something to eat.”

The sparrows fluttered into the air in a heated flurry, indignation written into their every movement. “How dare you say something so crude and horrible!” one of them scolded him, and the other added, “We shall give you no further help - I think you might even be a villain!”

Fair enough, Erik thought, and prepared to leave on his own, as he had no intention to talk to the two who were _still_ dancing, when he realized the squirrel was still sitting on his branch. Erik raised an eyebrow at him.

The squirrel asked, “Is that true?”

Erik nodded. “Yes. The king is married and when she goes to find him after she wakes up, his wife tries to cook his children and have the king eat them for dinner. I’m German. I know these tales. This is some American version, made for those who wish to forget there is more than one evil in the world.”

Oh god, they were _still_ singing.

The squirrel seemed to be thinking about that. Then, to Erik’s great surprise, he nodded. “I will stay with you. My name is Karl-Heinz.”

Erik’s mouth twitched, but he replied just as gravely, “Erik.”

“A good name for a prince,” Karl-Heinz approved. “Shall we go up to the hut in the mountains? I think we’d better not disturb those two.”

Erik nodded, feeling relieved. According to the low position of the sun, it was getting close to sunset. He would like to be out of this world by nightfall. Charles would worry if he wasn’t back in time for dinner.

It took them two hours to reach a small, cozy looking house with a roof made of hay and elaborately decorated glass windows. Erik bit down on a sigh of relief as his mutation detected an untold number of pots and pans and other metal items inside. It had been weird, being surrounded by pure nature like that, with nothing he could use for his defense but what he was carrying on his body.

He went straight up to the door and knocked. A young girl, this one with hair as dark as ebony, opened the door, looking at them timidly. “Hello?”

“Good evening. I’m lost,” Erik explained, trying to imagine how Charles would handle this situation. “Could you tell me how I can get out of the woods?”

The girl shrank back a little. “You wish to go to the queen’s castle? Are you one of her henchmen?”

Erik hastily shook his head. “No!” He lifted his hands slowly. “See? I’m unarmed.” Apart from the knives fastened to his shins and back, but she wouldn’t be able to tell. “I only wish to go home. It’s not near any castle.”

The door opened completely at this. Apparently the girl had decided to trust him. “I’m sorry. I only know the castle and these woods,” she told him. Then her face brightened. “Oh, but maybe the dwarves will know! They have lived here all their lives, after all.” She smiled at him. “Come in. You must eat dinner with us.”

Erik considered his options. He could refuse, but where would he go? He could only rely on the guidance of a squirrel for so long. And a free meal was a free meal, after all. Erik had experienced hunger too often to risk it. Also, as much as he loathed to think it, as long as he made sure she wasn’t secretly a witch or a stepmother or both, he would be fine.

The girl - _Schneewittchen_ , Snow White, Erik now remembered his mother’s voice saying - stepped back into the house, leaving the door open and calling over her shoulder, “And your little friend is invited too, of course.”

And that was how Erik found himself sitting at a dinner table with a squirrel, seven dwarves and a princess on the run.

The dwarves, each inexplicably named after the adjective that described them best, were a loud, boisterous bunch that was very willing to help, if not good at offering him anything actually useful. They had never heard of the place that Erik was looking for, but they knew of a mansion just outside of a town. Thinking it might be their way of describing the CIA headquarters, Erik thanked them politely for giving him directions.

That took about ten minutes. Since then he’d been trying to ignore their singing. Who sang while eating soup? At least the dwarf next to him seemed to share his opinion.

“Pah! Foolish fawning over the wench. She’ll bring doom to us all, I say. Women always do,” he was mumbling.

Erik glanced at him. “You don’t like Snow White?”

“Like her?” The dwarf seemed close to having an apoplexy. “ _Like_ her? That woman comes here, cleans our house - and what’s wrong with a little dirt, I ask? She makes us wash! Look at them!” His sweeping gesture indicated his fellow dwarves. “They’re _clean_.”

Erik raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yes! She’s evil deep inside, I know it. And those fools are dancing attendance on her.”

Erik sighed and went back to his soup. This dwarf was probably called “conspiracy theoristy” or “sexisty” or something.

After dinner, the nightly ritual apparently demanded a song and dance. Erik didn’t quite understand the necessity - hadn’t they been singing and dancing all day, anyway? But he settled down with the others in front of the fire. It would have been more practical for him to go along, as there was nothing to be gained by resisting. Again: Erik knew the value of food and shelter. They had offered him a safe resting place for the night and breakfast.

So he managed to keep from voicing his dismay as Snow White began to sing “Someday my prince will come, someday we’ll meet again, and away to his castle we’ll go… to be happy, forever, I know…”

It must have shown on his face anyway, because she turned towards him once she was finished, “What is it, Mr. Erik? You look worried.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“But surely there’s someone waiting for you? Do you think she worries about you?” she persisted.

That was really not what he had been thinking about. The only one waiting for him was Charles. He was actually the first person to possibly worry about Erik since Erik’s family had died, Erik realized. It wasn’t a comfortable thought.

To get away from that train of thought, he asked Snow White, “How did you meet the prince?”

She got this glowing look on her face. “Well, I was singing in the courtyard with my friends the doves about the wishing well when he suddenly joined in! I was sooo frightened and ran away, but he followed me and told me I was his only love and he wanted me to be his forever.” She sighed. “It was so romantic.”

Okay, that just sounded creepy. “That’s creepy.”

Aware that everyone was looking at him askance (and where had this sudden propensity for inappropriate comments come from? Erik had been good at keeping his mouth shut when the situation required it, once. Maybe he’d just gotten too used at arguing with Charles about pretty much everything), Erik hastened to add, “Where I come from, we try to spend time with each other to get to know the other before we decide to marry.”

Snow White blinked. “Oh, but whatever for? Don’t you just _know_?”

He shook his head. “No. Only when we know our, uh, partner well, their strengths and their weaknesses, can we propose to them. That way, it’s honest. What if your prince isn’t who you think he is?”

The dwarves looked shocked at the merest suggestion, and Snow White immediately replied, “But I know him!”

He should just let it go, Erik knew that, but… “What’s his name?”

Silence. Then Snow White straightened in her chair and declared, “That doesn’t matter. My heart knows his. I’m sorry it is more difficult for those of your kind.”

Erik nodded and left it at that.

That night, he slept on a rug near the fire, Karl-Heinz curled up on his shoulder. The next morning he was to leave at the same time as the dwarves. Amused, he watched as each of them blushed upon receiving a goodbye kiss from the princess. Even the grumpy dwarf that had sat next to him at dinner. “Wicked woman.” Right.

Still, Erik kept his distance when he took his leave from her. He had no desire to be kissed, thank you.

Karl-Heinz was still insisting on accompanying him. “I’m curious! And this part of the woods is dangerous, you might need me to fetch help,” he explained.

Erik snorted and was about to comment that he was quite capable of defending himself without the help of tiny little woodland animals when something triggered his inner danger alert. Freezing in his tracks, he shushed Karl-Heinz with an impatient hand movement and listened. Nothing.

That was the problem, he realized. Before, the forest had been alive with sounds. Now, the birds had stopped singing; there were no animals bustling in the bushes anymore. Some predator had to be nearby.

Erik waited, hands calmly resting on the hilts of two of his bigger knives.

A large shadow detached itself from behind the trees.

A wolf. A huge, but lone wolf. Erik grinned, feeling alive with the fever of a battle he knew he could win. He had encountered a whole pack of wolves before, starved enough to attack humans. That had been a fucking nightmare to deal with. A single wolf that probably usually preyed on little girls or goats? He could deal with that. With pleasure. It would be good to have a meat reserve. There was no telling how long he would be stuck in this insane place, after all.

Seeing his grin, the wolf stopped in his tracks, turned around, and ran.

Erik blinked after it, a little disappointed. What on earth had caused the beast to do that? Sure, Charles had made jokes about his shark grin before, but it wasn’t like that would scare a wolf, right?

Karl-Heinz was emerging from his hiding place in Erik’s pocket. “Wow! You scared that big bad wolf away…”

“There’s someone else coming. Hide.”

To his credit, Karl-Heinz obeyed immediately. Erik wondered when he’d started to build a rapport with a squirrel.

This time the figure approaching them was human. A hunter, judging by his rifle and the dead rabbit on his belt. Erik decided to consider him as hostile till proven innocent. (To be fair, that was how he approached just about everyone.)

“Who are you?” the man demanded to know when he had reached shooting distance.

“My name is Erik Lehnsherr. I’m trying to find my way back home.”

“Yeah?” the hunter scoffed, “And what did you do for the wolf to leave you in peace?”

Erik weighed the little knife he had slipped down his sleeve into his hand, knowing he could kill the hunter in seconds, but possibly not before he got a shot in.

“I’m not sure. He didn’t seem to consider me edible,” he replied evenly.

“This is no joke!” the man bellowed and actually shot at him.

Without thinking Erik deflected the bullets with a sweep of his hand. Huh. Might be useful in the future, as long as he made sure no ally was standing behind him. They might get hit.

The hunter’s eyes grew wide. “What - How - So that’s why the wolf fled!” he cried out. “You’re a monster!” And, seeing how he had no feasible way of attacking Erik anymore, he turned around to run away.

Erik considered killing him, then shrugged. It was unlikely the man would come back, and Erik didn’t like wasting his time.

“Wow,” Karl-Heinz whispered in awe.

Erik ignored him. He still felt a bit uncomfortable being complemented by a squirrel.

After that, no one crossed their way, and in the light of the gentle sun (seriously, it was September, what was up with the weather?) they made good time. Soon they approached a town sprawling between two hills, one of which featured a huge, white, glittering castle, the other one a grey, unfriendly looking mansion.

“So why do we have to go up there instead of asking someone from the town?” Erik asked conversationally.

“Because the townspeople are not important and won’t have any specialized knowledge beyond their task in the story,” Karl-Heinz replied in a similar tone of voice. Somehow, Erik wasn’t surprised. It figured nothing about this would be easy. At least, he reflected, people at the CIA compound were more likely to think he simply took off on his own, rather than worrying about something having happened to him.

And so it came that mutant and squirrel climbed the hill towards the dark mansion, where they found a beautiful maid ripping out weeds, a flock of birds and several mice gathered around her.

Erik knocked on the gate. He had no intention of being mistaken for a creepy prince.

The girl looked up. “Oh! A visitor?” She ran towards him and asked breathlessly, “Would you like to see the Mistress?”

Erik, who had an idea about who it was that was standing in front of him, asked, “What is your name?”

“ _My_ name? Well, I’m called Cinderella.”

Erik sighed inwardly. Another princess. Great. “Could you point me towards LA, or at least out of this land?”

The girl’s eyes went wide. “Out of this land? I don’t know…”

One of the mice made a noise. “Oh, right!” Cinderella exclaimed. “Years ago, when my father was still alive, he told my mother about a castle in a different country. You just need to walk towards the setting sun, he said, and you will find a child prince and his attendants in a great castle.”

Well, that didn’t sound very useful. But it seemed like he had no choice but to wander from place to place until he found someone who knew the trick to getting out of here. The concept of space clearly didn’t apply in the same way here. It was entirely possible he’d actually landed in a different dimension, in which case just walking straight wouldn’t lead him any closer to home.

Politely, he said, “Thank you. I assume you mean that road that leads into that dark forest over there?” He pointed left.

She nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry, I would accompany you for a bit, but my stepmother wouldn’t approve.”

Erik didn’t mind that at all, but still her blind obedience needled him a bit. “Oh? And you have to do what she says?”

“Well - she owns everything here,” Cinderella stuttered out, “and I live here and I - I have to.” It was obviously not something she had ever thought about.

“But your parents are dead, and she’s just using you as an unpaid maid,” was Erik’s reply. “Why not get out of here, work, actually get paid and stand on your own two feet?”

She just looked at him, baffled. He shrugged. “Just a thought,” and turned to walk away.

He hadn’t taken more than ten steps when he heard her call out, “Wait!”

He turned around and she was right behind him, beaming. “Thank you for the advice, fairy godmother. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you immediately!”

With that, she planted a kiss on his cheek and walked back towards the mansion.

Erik just stood there, gobsmacked. From his pocket he could hear something that sounded suspiciously like a squirrel giggling.

“Shut up.”

“Nope. She just called you her fairy godmother.”

Grumbling, Erik turned and walked westwards. The path went through a lot of forest, surprise, surprise, and for the first few hours they encountered no one. By Erik’s estimate, based on the position of the sun, it was about four pm when he spotted a man in a bright red uniform trying to hide in a tree.

Erik walked towards him. The man didn’t notice.

Erik came to a halt right next to the tree in question. The man didn’t notice.

Erik cleared his throat pointedly. The man fell off the tree.

“Ouch,” he declared and stared up at Erik. Then: “Wait, you’re not the gimp.”

“No,” Erik assured him very carefully, “I’m not.”

The soldier got up. “Terribly sorry. I was looking for a disfigured little man who is pressuring my young, beautiful queen into giving him her firstborn if she cannot guess his name. I heard he likes to dance around the campfire and sing about his true name. If I can catch him at it, I can save my queen’s child! She might even bestow her beautiful smile upon me once more!”

Erik blinked a little at that rant. Friendly fellow. At least he knew this fairy tale.

He thought about it for a second. He could just leave. But sabotaging this weird fairy tale land fate thing was kind of fun.

“His name is Rumpelstiltskin.”

The man stared at him, but then began to laugh, overjoyed. “Are you sure? Oh, it is great luck that brings you this way, my friend! I must tell my beautiful queen at once!”

“And another thing,” Erik heard himself say, “You should try to, uh, woo your queen. I’m sure she’d be receptive to your affections.”

“Really? That would be a dream come true,” the soldier enthused. It didn’t seem to occur to him to wonder how Erik knew these things. With one last “Thank you, my friend!” he was off.

Karl-Heinz climbed onto Erik’s shoulder as they walked on. “Did you read about their romance in one of your stories, too?” he asked.

Erik shook his head, careful not to dislodge the squirrel. “No. But she is married to someone who kidnapped her, locked her up for days under the threat of death because he is so greedy, and then married her for her apparent wealth. I’m pretty sure she’s receptive to any actual affection at this point.”

Karl-Heinz thought about that. “You approach relationships very differently from the people here.”

Erik shrugged, trying to ignore his empty stomach. He’d been walking all day and hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Maybe he shouldn’t have let that wolf escape. “What about you? You haven’t broken into song all day.”

Now Karl-Heinz was giving his version of a shrug. “You’re interesting. It’s pretty boring with only princesses to cheer up. Also, you glare a lot when people sing.”

As if on cue, they heard voices rising into song. Rather unusually for Erik’s experience so far, it seemed to be about killing a beast and not resting until it was dead.

Karl-Heinz and Erik exchanged glances. “We should hurry,” Erik said and fell into a quick jog. He didn’t have any fond memories of mobs like that.

Their tempo thus quickened they soon saw the spires of a castle approaching. Erik quickly knocked on the gate. “Attackers are coming!” he shouted.

The gate opened and a collection of household items was staring at him with wide eyes. Erik didn’t waste any time on that peculiarity. He had no intention of witnessing some kind of fairy tale genocide. “Does a beast live here?”

A candelabra was the one to answer. “Oui, but why…?”

“There’s a mob coming to kill you,” Erik interrupted him. “They’re quite close already.”

All at once, they broke into a flurry of activities. The candelabra shouted “Sacré bleu! Invaders!” and a clock ordered a teapot to “Fetch the master!” before turning to the others and adding, “If it’s a fight they want, we’ll be ready for them! Who’s with me?”

The teapot broke away from the group and asked Erik in a calm female voice, “Would you come with me, please?”

He nodded, thinking he should probably make sure to ask the master of the caste for directions, just in case everyone here did end up dying. Together they made their way up to the west wing of the castle where the teapot did her version of knocking on a door. When there was no answer, Erik turned the doorknob.

“Leave me in peace,” a voice growled at them. Literally growled, but in a human being angry kind of way.

“But sir, the castle is under attack!” the teapot protested.

“It doesn’t matter now. Just let them come.” And with that, the great hulking figure turned back to the windows.

It was possible Erik lost his composure just a little bit at that. “What the fuck are you talking about? These are your people! Defend them!”

The teapot gasped as the great, furry head turned towards him. Karl-Heinz hid in Erik’s pocket once more.

“I’m a beast, a monster,” the lord of the manor stated gravely, “there is no salvation for me, only punishment.”

“Oh, so you’re ugly and that’s destroying your life? Boohoo. Just for your information, there are real monsters out there. Heck, I killed enough people to be one of them. So get over yourself!” Erik yelled. What? He was cranky and hungry and there was the sound of fighting downstairs now. He turned towards and left the beast behind with a scathing hiss of “Coward.”

(Weeks later he’d hear about Hank's new nickname and bite down a grin.)

Downstairs, a strange picture presented itself to them. The candelabra was burning his enemies’ pant bottoms, various household items were falling on the attackers in ways that looked very uncomfortable, and a wardrobe was beating the shit out of three men at once.

Erik spotted a man that was trying to sneak past the fight and felled him with a well placed right hook. He repeated the move on everyone attempting to follow that guy’s example. One fellow with long, black hair and muscles like mountains was a bit of a challenge at first, but once Erik got his knives out it was over.

When one of the attackers fighting nearby spotted the unconscious body, he screamed, “Gaston! The beast has killed Gaston!” Another one yelled, “Retreat! Retreat, men, as long as you still can!”

Soon only Erik, Karl-Heinz, a lot of talking household items and about twenty unconscious attackers were left in the hall.

“Well, that was fun,” Karl-Heinz remarked.

Erik chuckled. “You came out of your pocket once.”

“To blind an enemy,” Karl-Heinz defended himself, “And it helped you take him out.”

“True,” Erik acknowledged. Then - “Oh. They’re turning into people.”

A kind of golden glitter had entered the room and was engulfing one item after the other, re-shaping them into humans.

One, a plump woman in a housekeeper’s uniform turned to Erik and said in a voice he recognized from the teapot, “I believe we should check on the master,” just as someone who looked very, very French yelled, “The curse is broken!” She continued, unruffled, “Would you like to come with me once more, kind stranger? You have helped us so much tonight.”

Erik nodded. Now that the clarity of battle had swept through his mind, he could focus on his real aim again: Get back to Charles. The beast might be able to help him achieve that.

Only, when they reached the room in the west wing and looked towards the balcony, there was no beast there, just a prince (he was tall and handsome and lived in a castle, so he was probably a prince by Erik’s reasoning), kissing a very pretty girl. And kissing her. With sparks literally flying. And kissing her. Next to Erik, the teapot-women sighed. Even Karl-Heinz was looking a bit misty-eyed before he caught Erik’s disapproving stare and hastily glared at the couple.

Who was still kissing. Had these people never heard of limits to PDA?

He cleared his throat rather pointedly. The couple moved away from each other rather reluctantly before turning towards their onlookers with matching smiles.

The prince spotted Erik and moved to take his hand. “My friend! I thank you for your advice. I have confessed to my beloved Belle, inspired by your bravery, and look! The curse is broken!”

Belle, who was clearly brighter than her new lover, frowned. “What brought you here in the first place, Mr…?”

“Erik Lehnsherr,” he answered. “I am looking for a way home to my own world. Can you help me?”

The servants began to whisper among themselves and the prince’s face fell. Just as Erik’s hope began to fall even further, Belle said, “No, but we can ask the mirror! Since you seem to have rescued it from Gaston.”

She took a small, elaborately decorated handheld mirror from one of the servants and ordered, “Show me how Erik can go home.” The wording caused Erik some misgivings - after all, he hadn’t really got a home. But he figured anywhere on his own planet was better than this place.

He couldn’t see what the mirror showed her, but he saw her face darken and her voice exclaim, “Oh! There was a mermaid on land who could help you. Mermaids are world-wanderers. But she will turn into sea foam by dawn!”

A portly man seemed to grasp the implications of that the quickest. “Quick, make haste! Lumière, put together some provisions for our guest. I will ready a horse for you, Master Lehnsherr.”

The prince nodded his assent. Belle drew him a quick map of the way with the guidance of the mirror, and less than thirty minutes later Erik was thundering away on a great white stallion, wolfing down some truly excellent sandwiches with one hand, Karl-Heinz safely in his left pocket.

The night was dark, but Erik found he had no problem riding a horse for the first time in his life. Came with being in a fairy tale forest, he supposed.

Once, they passed a great big tower with only small window gleaming forlornly at the top. Erik slowed his horse down a bit and yelled, “There’s a trap door underneath the rug that leads down!” A startled female voice told him he’d been heard, but he refused to waste any more time on these people and bade his stallion to a gallop once more.

To his relief it was still dark when he finally reached the sea shore. As Belle had said there was a thin, light-haired woman standing in the waves, staring out towards the sea.

He left the horse some distance away without tying it to anything. He was confident that, should anything happen to him, it would find his way back.

Quietly he approached the woman. She didn’t look like someone who was facing certain death within the hour and she had no fishtail, but Erik was still confident that he was approaching the right person.

He was validated in that when she said, still gazing out at sea, “I still have an hour left before dawn, but already my sisters have turned away from the shore to grieve on their own. Is it me or them who are more selfish, I wonder?”

She sighed and, as if talking to herself, added, “I never used to wonder.”

Then she turned around. “Hello. You look like you are searching for something.” Her eyes were huge and green and not quite human.

Erik shook himself out of his trance.

“I come from a different world, I think. I was told you could show me the way back.”

She nodded and bent down to gather three white seashells in her hand. “I can make the path visible to you, yes. Please think strongly of your home.”

Erik hesitated. The strongest emotions he had undoubtedly reserved for Shaw, but he didn’t fancy his chances if he just got dropped on his old tormentor now, exhausted as he was. So even if their time together had been very brief, he thought of Charles.

After maybe a minute had passed, the mermaid smiled. “The passage has opened.” She laid down the shells in a straight line where the sea met the sand, and a clear blue path sprang forth.

“Just follow the path and it will lead you home,” she explained. “It might take you some time, but this bridge will remain solid for two days. You needn’t worry about dying before you arrive.”

Erik took a step towards the bridge, then hesitated. “Thank you.”

A pause, another step, then, “Why will you turn into sea foam?” He thought he had heard parts of this tale once, but just like the beast’s castle before, it hadn’t been in his mother’s repertoire.

She turned from him, and for a second he thought he wouldn’t receive an answer. He could read it up once he was home (Charles was the sort of person to know where to get children’s literature easily. Actually, now that Erik thought about it, Charles might know them by heart. He liked symbols and metaphors, after all), but that wasn’t the same. The mermaid’s tranquility fascinated him. He had seen similar expressions on faces in the ghetto and the camps - people who died believing they were going to a better place. He had never quite understood that.

Then she spoke. “I became human to be with a prince. He loves another, so the price I’ll pay will be my death. My sisters traded their beauty for a dagger than can exchange his life for mine, but I will not do it. So I must pay now."

Erik frowned. “But if he rejected you, was cruel…”

“Oh, no, never!” she was quick to defend her prince. “He has always been kind to me, a very good friend. He loves another, and she is so very deserving, and I have no right to demand anything of him. His friendship would be enough for me, were it not for the deal I myself made.”

“So… you will die because you love him?” he asked slowly.

Her head moved from side to side. “Yes. And because I refuse to become a murderess. It is one thing to hurt bad people.” The way she said that made him think she knew all that he’d done in his life, and all that he was planning to do. “But it’s quite another to hurt good people, no matter what the cause is. I refuse to do it.”

Erik wanted to think about that, maybe argue back (What if the cause was important enough to demand sacrifice? And after all, he had no intention to hurt Charles and the others…), but she waved her hand at him. “You should go.”

Reluctantly he turned and walked towards the pat, but he had barely set foot on it when he was called back by her voice one last time. “My friend? Thank you.”

Confused, he looked back at her. “What for? I should thank you.”

She smiled. “For months, I haven’t been able to speak. Now, close to the end, I was gifted with a voice once more, but there was no one to speak to but the waves. I feel a lot clearer in my own mind now. I think, after all, I was looking for what it means to be human. I guess I found out. That is joy, don’t you think?”

Not knowing what to say, Erik turned away one last time and began to walk home. For a while, all was calm and he thought he was making good time. It was hard to judge distance when you were walking straight through nothing, though.

A rustle in his pocket brought him to a sudden halt. “Karl-Heinz!”

The squirrel poked his head out of his pocket sleepily. “Huh?” He looked around. “Where are we?”

“On the path to my world,” Erik explained. “I should have left you on the shore. Would like me to put you down so you can walk back?”

Karl-Heinz thought about that for a minute, then he shook his little furry head. “No, I’m coming with you. Much more interesting.”

Erik tried not to smile at the indefatigable little rodent. “You might not be able to speak in my world,” he warned.

Karl-Heinz shrugged. “We’ll get by. Just look happy already that I’m not leaving you, grumpy face.”

Erik just laughed and kept walking.

He couldn’t have said how long it had taken until he suddenly slipped and began to fall down the inter-world equivalent of a pothole. And landed right in Charles’ bathroom.

Charles, who was currently singing in the shower. Which, on one hand - Charles, wet and naked. On the other hand - _singing_. Erik felt like screaming. Then Charles popped his head out of the shower and blinked at him in confusion. “Erik? You’re back already? Didn’t you just leave six hours ago? How did it go? What happened to your clothes?”

Erik frowned. Huh. Looked like time worked differently over there. Well, that made things easier. As for explaining… “Look for yourself,” he replied curtly and began to divest himself of his clothes, thinking a shower would do him good. He took care to lay Karl-Heinz down gently. The squirrel was somehow asleep again.

Charles raised his fingers to his brow and immediately began laughing. “ _Forest animals_?”

“Shut up,” Erik grumbled, shouldering his way into the shower.

“Fairy godmother, Erik, really? And you befriended Grumpy and the beast?” Charles apparently couldn’t stop laughing at him. Erik endured it for a minute or two, then he decided to shut Charles up with a kiss. It had been more than two days for him, after all.

Charles’ lips were welcoming as always, and Erik staked his claim on them. He thought with some satisfaction, _How’s THAT for true love’s kiss, birds?_ Charles had apparently caught that thought, because he was tearing away from the kiss to giggle into Erik’s shoulder.

Erik looked down at the helpless smile on Charles’ face and thought of the mermaid again. Maybe, he thought, some things - people - are worth a sacrifice to protect.

“...Erik, is that a squirrel in my sink?”

-END-


End file.
